LA JOLLA, Calif. – Hayden Gray is a winner. His college and high school coaches will tell you so. His stat sheet will tell you so. And most importantly, he will tell you so.
"I kind of know the recipe, per se," Gray said.
But on Thursday, March 20th, there was no win. A nail-biting 68-65 loss to Michigan in the opening round of the NCAA national tournament ended the Triton's Cinderella story before it could truly begin.
"You're pissed off when you lose," Gray said. "It's fine to lose, but it's not fine to lose, you know?"
And yet, as he sat in the post-game press conference room with a grim face and blank stare, Gray cracked a smile.
In a social media clip viewed millions of times over, Gray asks if he can take his March Madness embossed name card from the press conference table. Teammate Tyler McGhie stands beside him, patiently waiting for the go-ahead nod.
The flimsy card stock undoubtedly symbolizes more than an appearance in the Big Dance. For Gray, it is the culmination of nearly two decades of hard work, years of coming up just short, and the season where it all came together.
This year's unprecedented success — including a 30-4 record and a nation-leading 15-game win streak heading into March Madness — was an "all hands on deck" affair for the Tritons. The team's undersized statures and recent move to Division I play put them out of the picture at the beginning of the campaign, making the success that much more unexpected.
Unsurprisingly, Gray's holistic play style embodies the collective work ethic it took to reach this point. The season-long starter led in minutes played this season and sits near the top of every metric from points to assists. Most notable is his nation-leading 110 steals, for which Gray credits his team.
"I think it just comes back to … knowing you have good defenders, smart people that can cover stuff up if maybe you miss one," Gray said. "I would say this year is the most aggressive I've been in it."
This trust gets built in practices, games, and … in the mountains. Before the season started, the team made their way up to Orange County for a three-day retreat. The team got close while staying in one big house out in relative isolation, a vital camaraderie considering the many departures and arrivals of top talent this year. Just as pivotal are the informal "little windows of time" for post-practice lunches and post-game hangouts that maintain the bond.
The two-year starting senior has stepped into a leadership role this season, spearheading this team-building effort through his "vibes" and "competitive edge." This duality is nothing new for Gray, whose leadership cultivated a winning culture during his high school days at Santa Fe Christian.
Gray's high school head coach Chad Bickley remembers him as consistent. "He never got too high or too low," Bickley said, "and he was always calm."
"When we were down, he had the ball, everybody was calm and confident."
This synergy of individual acumen and team camaraderie has manifested in a Naismith Defensive Player of the Year finalist nod for Gray this season. Players from the larger Big 12 and Big 10 conferences typically claim this award, making Gray's recognition an achievement in itself. Alongside the Naismith shortlist, Gray has picked up Big West Defensive Player of the Year, All-Big West Second Team, and Big West Championship All-Tournament Team honors this season.
"Your personal accolades, stats, team camaraderie, all that stuff falls into place when you're winning," Gray said.
As the opening sentiment suggests, Gray's winning days began long before his Triton career. So many wins, in fact, that the losses are what stick out the most for Bickley. The most telling example happened at a basketball camp, where there was "little to nothing on the line" according to Gray. After a loss in the championship game, Bickley remembers an emotional third-grader up in the stands.
"I remember going up to him and I put my arm around him and I was like, 'Man, I wanna coach you one day,'" Bickley said.
That day would come six years later when Gray joined the Santa Fe Christian varsity squad as a freshman. The early top competition amplified his innate competitiveness, first manifested in heated 1-on-1 games with his older brother, Brook, during their childhood.
"[Bickley] hates to lose more than anybody, so just seeing that makes you want to beat him cause like it's like, 'Okay, you hate to lose? I'm gonna beat you,'" Gray said.
Bickley made sure to keep Gray's competitive spirit pure and isolated from arrogance:
"I remember coming in as a freshman thinking I'm this, I'm that, and he shut that up real quick," Gray said. "He eventually got to a point where he gave me the keys … He trusted me and I knew what was required of me."
Perhaps the most noteworthy aspect of this trust was in stealing the ball. Bickley helped Gray leverage his long wingspan, primarily working on keeping the ball carrier in front of him. Eventually, however, Bickley realized that whatever Gray was doing was working.
Bickley's trust paid off as Gray led the Eagles to two CIF San Diego Section titles and a state title in 2021. The latter remained Gray's favorite basketball achievement throughout college, although this year's Big West Championship now stands as a strong competitor for this top spot.
"His senior year winning state was the best week of my life," Bickley said. "What he left for me was a dream four years."
For the coach, the way Gray treated his teammates was just as important as the trophy:
"When these [lower classmen] got to [the] top, they treated the other people the same way," Bickley said. "It just flowed and there was no initiation."
When the trophy made its way into the glass showcase and it came time for Gray to commit to a college, he "didn't get a lot of love from any Division I programs." In the end, a last-minute offer from Division II Azusa Pacific pulled him up to Los Angeles. The people made the experience for Gray, who made several strong connections with his Cougar teammates. The Carlsbad native also enjoyed the proximity to his parents, who were just an hour or two away.
His exceptional play earned him consecutive All-Pac West Academic Team honors, as well as the attention of Triton head coach Eric Olen. He would soon get much closer to his family, and his goal of playing Division I basketball, when he transferred to UC San Diego in his junior year.
The decision was not easy, but now as one of the top players in the entire nation, his gamble has undeniably paid off.
Everything has come together for Hayden Gray, so it is no wonder that he is smiling.
About UC San Diego Athletics
After two decades as one of the most successful programs in NCAA Division II, the UC San Diego intercollegiate athletics program began a new era in 2020 as a member of The Big West in NCAA Division I. The 24-sport Tritons earned 30 team and nearly 150 individual national championships during its time in Divisions III and II and helped guide 1,400 scholar-athletes to All-America honors. A total of 84 Tritons have earned Academic All-America accolades, while 38 have received prestigious NCAA Post Graduate Scholarships. UC San Diego scholar-athletes exemplify the academic ideals of one of the world's preeminent institutions, graduating at an average rate of 90 percent, the highest rate among NCAA Division I and II institutions.
